Jimmy Kimmel's MyPillow guy Mike Lindell puts himself in prison for life: “I missed out on the last riot because I was in the White House Jan. 6, I’m not going to miss an opportunity to stick a cop with a screwdriver again!”
, who beamed in from behind bars, complete with a teardrop tattoo on his cheek—not because he murdered someone, but because he’s “sad about our stolen election.”
“As I said on the [Dr.] Gina show, I have enough evidence to lock up every man, woman and child in America for the rest of their natural lives, including me!” he exclaimed. And since “we’re all being incarcerated together forever anyway, I bribed the warden to let me into supermax, to get a good spot!”
After selling a couple of pillows for a carton of smokes, Lindell said that while he’s been “substance-free” for 13 years, “a week in here and I’m already addicted to cigarettes again,” shoveling a few in his mouth and washing them down with some “toilet wine.” Finally, as a prison riot siren blared, he strapped on some of his pillows as armor. “They’re so lumpy and hard they can’t be cut with a razor!” he told Kimmel. “I missed out on the last riot because I was in the White House Jan. 6, I’m not going to miss an opportunity to stick a cop with a screwdriver again!”
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