Everyone will tell you not to go blonde, but here's why you should!
Love her or hate her, once you realized Kim hadn’t wet-shaved her head you felt that familiar feeling. That rising dread. The one which feels feral, the one which tells you to make a bad decision. The one which—despite everything you know about upkeep, long-term damage, chewing-gummy ends, and that it doesn’t look that good on you, you tried it once in high school and it was a disaster—urges you to go blonde. To slap on the bleach, sizzle out the pigment, and choose fun.
Where does this feeling come from? This deep, hot want to cause your unsuspecting follicles great damage? This feeling I’ve given into every three months for a decade, causing what some might call “a thinning patch at your crown,” and what others might call “the best decision of your life.” It comes from the cultural idea that blondes have more fun, that gentlemen prefer blondes.
But it’s been a long pandemic. We’re desperately seeking change. And change is a good thing, something worth embracing in this time of uncertainty. And while it sounds vapid, a drastic change in hair color can be the jump-starter for a small, individual revolution so many of us are seeking these days. To simply feel something.
Secondly, either ignore or don’t tell your friends. In this day and age, everyone is a snake and they will tell you not to do it. What do they know? They’re a mathematician who throws fondue parties. If you’re going to ask anyone, make sure it’s your messiest friend. A gay one, perhaps. Or just DM me.
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