Why refusing to commit at all is just as problematic as committing too soon or too late in a relationship
Commitment is not in vogue, currently. Instead, relationships without commitment appear to be on the rise. Non-committal people say to each other,"I love you," but what they really mean is,"I want to be with you. A better opportunity may open up tomorrow, and if so, I'll take it." This is, perhaps, not surprising.
Novelist George Eliot underscores our tendency to see the object of a romantic interest as intransparent and unknowable when we are jealous, as we are apt to be in the early stages of a relationship. Eliot writes, “is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest folds of the heart.” [1]
When the object of love lends itself to endless interpretation in this way, he or she remains inscrutable, an “Other” whose mind is hidden from view and whose motives are a matter of conjecture, never of knowledge. The impenetrability of the other’s mind at this point precludesWhen the other, at this early stage, addresses us by name or by saying “you”, we may find this exhilarating. The object of romantic interest is, in that moment, not an opaqueus.
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