AskPolly: 'At what point do I need to question if we’re actually co-dependent or if she is manipulating me?' hhavrilesky responds
I’m in a pickle. I’m 26 and wildly in love with my best friend. A queer tale as old as time. She’s a poet, and we are both weird in a way that sets my soul on fire. I’ll call her E.
They’ve since broken up for good and my feelings for her still linger. We’re still a little bit co-dependent: People constantly think we’re together because we’re so physically affectionate and because of the gift-giving and whatnot. She wants to meet my family and for me to meet hers. Which is to say: She’s told me she just wants to be friends, but her behavior constantly feels somewhat romantic. So at what point does that become a bit mean when she knows I have feelings for her?If you want to know what’s going on, you should ask her directly. Then listen to her honest answer. If she’s evasive, I would insist that she give you a straightforward reply.
I mean, let’s get real: Everyone is fucking losing it out there. Just when you thought the global rise of authoritarianism and the climate crisis were more than enough to set any mortal’s teeth on edge, here comes a global pandemic, that salty dread that pairs so nicely with the acidic tang of misinformation and burgeoning fear and widespread doomspeak.
But I want to dare you to ask if the answer might not be a little bigger and weirder and more engrossing than that. At the risk of sounding just like the herd of people on Twitter telling us that Shakespeare did brilliant work as the plague raged across the land, I want to encourage you to use this strange, isolated time to experiment with your imagination and explore your love of words on a page.
Right now, strong attraction and seductive poetry have melted all of your boundaries. You are as permeable as an amoeba in a petri dish of pure Bulleit Rye Whiskey. In other words, you might just be in danger of losing yourself completely. Maybe that’s what your friends are seeing. Maybe their worries are legitimate, and it’s easier to place the blame on the object of your affection than it is to tell you that it’s time to take a step back and get real.
People don’t know what they want a lot of the time. They act without thinking. They can seem extremely straightforward and honest and still be a tiny bit manipulative without noticing it. What’s weird is, when you really think about the ways that you act with others, when you really trace your own words and your actions, you might find that you’re subconsciously or unconsciously manipulating others, too.
Romantic love is one thing. Real, mutual love that lasts is something else. Real love requires honesty and trust. Real self-love and self-protection require self-respect and strong boundaries. There is an enormous difference between smoldering lust and solid, loving bonds that grow slowly over time on the very mundane landscape of building an actual life together.
But that’s also why you haven’t brought it up. You don’t want this to end. You’ll take whatever you can get.
日本 最新ニュース, 日本 見出し
Similar News:他のニュース ソースから収集した、これに似たニュース記事を読むこともできます。
Are You as in Control of Your Emotions as You Think?'It seems clear that without realizing it, your emotions are being manipulated from the digital powers that be.'
続きを読む »
Kathy Griffin Reveals Mom's Death in Emotional Tribute: 'I Am Gutted''I am gutted. She was my best friend,' Kathy Griffin shares after revealing her mother's death.
続きを読む »
Coronavirus: Megan Barton Hanson leads celeb ‘Sexy Self Isolation’ trendCelebrities seem to have found a way to get through the bores and chores of the coronavirus lockdown - posting sexy pictures of themselves
続きを読む »
Curtis Pritchard gets raunchy with blonde dancer after Maura Higgins splitThe professional dancer is currently touring with his brother AJ as part of a countrywide tour - and Curtis pulled out all the stops with his sexy moves
続きを読む »