'I was astounded by what my mother started revealing to me—a long, long list of family secrets, one laid out after the other,' writes KyoungMiChoi
in a conservative Korean society. Both my grandmother and mother survived through their tumultuous lives the only way they knew how—by enduring pain and swallowing their sorrows with silence., and liberation through the process of unpacking troubling yet formative personal stories. I started to connect dots, making sense of my restlessness and rootlessness.
Then, we decided to write a book, one which my mother hopes “comforts the mourners, binds up the brokenhearted, and encourages those in despair.” For over a month’s time, a series of notification sounds from my phone woke me up each morning. They were from my mother, who was dedicated to making progress on our writing project. She sent photos of her notes—handwritten in her beautiful script, nicely numbered and chronologically organized.
While writing our book, I once asked her what would have allowed her to make better decisions or start her healing process earlier in life. “Having just one person to consult with,” she said. My mother never talked with my grandmother about hardships in her life. About this, my mother explained, “It’s not like we didn’t love each other. We just didn’t know how to talk vulnerably; we didn’t know how to listen to a painful story to support each other.
Then, she looked me in the eye and said words I will never forget, “Now, I have that one person in my life. It’s you, daughter. I decided to tell you about my stories, and now I have shared even more than I expected. I told you everything. I don’t feel sad anymore. I even laugh at myself and my nonsensical decisions. Now I have that one person.”
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