After being jailed 10 times in 40 years, can he break the cycle? CNA Insider first met Tay Poh Lim behind bars in 2021. Months after his release, we discover what the struggle is like and the reasons for hope.
SINGAPORE: It is barely the crack of dawn, but Tay Poh Lim is already awake, his 66-year-old body accustomed to years of morning drills. When he was in prison, his cell lights roused him at around 6 a.m. every day.
For more than half his life, Poh Lim mostly slept on a straw mat in cells with up to eight inmates. It is, perhaps, no wonder that the comfort of a pull-out bed, in a three-room flat he shares with his mother and brother, is still unfamiliar to him. But this time, the desire to stay clean is more intense than he has ever felt before. At 66, he owes a lifetime of reparation to his 88-year-old mother who visited him in jail each time, pleading with him to change.
The new job, which he started just a few days after his release, was unexpected, to say the least. Poh Lim had failed all his O-level subjects and effectively had no track record in stable work at what he called his “frail” age. The company’s signature product surrounding his job is a lawnmower called the Spider, which he learnt to operate and repair from his younger colleagues. They would often be found at their clients’ premises, sometimes in scorching weather, tinkering with the battery or gearbox until the machine works again.
He remembers how “exhilarating” it was to be added. “I felt that I belonged. They’ve accepted , and I’m part of the group,” he says.The sense of acceptance and the structure of a job with responsibilities are important for someone like him who is battling the demons of temptation. “But the main thing is to let her know that I care, and I don’t want her to be worried about where I am, so that we can build this trust.”For most of his life, Tay had looked for a sense of belonging in the wrong places.
Poh Lim himself barely remembers the details of his arrests; they were always a blur to him. The best years, however, were from 1991 to 2000, when he stayed clean and built a life with his then wife. They met when he was at a halfway house, where she was a volunteer.They had two sons. All was well at home until financial problems set in, and he relapsed. In 2000, he was caught consuming drugs and sentenced to seven years of preventive detention — the first of three long jail times to come.
On a visit here prior to his last incarceration, he had bumped into an “old friend”. One thing led to another, and Poh Lim ended up back in jail. Then, there are the very few friends he seeks out, the ones he trusts. Every Friday, he catches up with Dennis Oh. They first met at a halfway house some 20 years ago.
On this “chill” Friday night, however, there is no stress. The friends talk about the mundane things, like how to top up their ez-link cards with rewards points.Those who have spent considerable time in prison often speak about grappling with the changes in modern city life and trying to fit into human society again.
“I don’t have people like you I can talk to,” he tells his counsellor at one of their meetups. “There’s no sense of belonging.” The counsellor advises him to give it time. He shrugs it off. “I’ll learn from the mistake,” he says. “Probably won’t embarrass myself next time.” To make this happen, Poh Lim had to meet certain conditions. His company had to first apply to the SPS and the Central Narcotics Bureau for permission for him to get his passport and travel overseas as well as temporarily remove his ankle tracker. He would be retagged on his return.
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