'While I’m secure in my decision to merge my emotional life with my husband’s, a world where women pool the entirety of their life savings with a spouse in the name of love and unity is not a risk I’m willing to take.' CBWymanWriter writes
Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty Before we married, my spouse and I trudged our way through all of the premarital conversations you’re supposed to have. The one about family ; the one about spending ; the one about the future .
A recent viral Reddit post, in which a woman admits to pulling all of her contributions out of an account she shared with her husband , reminds me of how contentious this issue can be — particularly when a woman decides to protect her own earnings. The author of the Reddit post described how her husband “refused to stop making comments” about her unemployment — a situation she said she was actively trying to change by “searching endlessly” for a new job.
I’m sure that such differences in opinion are, in part, cultural and generational: My generation has never known a world where — at least in the United States — women were not legally allowed to open up their own bank accounts and take out their own credit . Merging finances with a spouse made sense at one point; what else was a woman to do? Still, even today it’s not difficult to find plenty of research that suggests that couples merging their finances is to the benefit of the relationship.
It’s for these reasons that Suze Orman, personal finance expert and host of the Women and Money podcast, does not advocate merging liquid assets . “The key to a naïve and dangerous outcome is sharing 100 percent of your money,” she said. Orman advocates for a separate joint household account to which couples contribute a small portion of their earnings equitably to pay for shared expenses, such as utilities, rent, or mortgage.
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