'All I remember about this conversation was that 1) I would have to get injections in my eye 2) Each injection would cost $1,200 and I would have to have at least six 3) The injection is not approved for breastfeeding.'
after receiving the news, and suspect it spiked my blood pressure. I’m not the best with hospitals or blood or needles, so I was frightened by the idea that my first child would enter the world through a major operation.At this point, the optometrist told me he would send a referral to the ophthalmologist and they would contact me with my appointment day and time. I then updated my OB, and since I was only days away from my scheduled c-section, we kept my date.
After I gave birth, I couldn’t get an appointment with the ophthalmologist for another three weeks. They told me to expect to be at the appointment for three hours, wtf! I had barely left the house and now I had to sit in a waiting room with a newborn for three hours! I asked my mother-in-law to come with me for support.
My first injection appointment was a blur, I was so nervous and didn’t know what to expect. Turns out even when you know what to expect it’s still just as brutal. If my memory serves me, the first thing the assistant did was give me some numbing drops and clean out my eye with what looked like iodine . This part stung badly. Then the doctor came in and said he was now going to freeze my eye and give me the injection.
This experience made me realize that I’m not invincible and “bad things” could happen to me. As a new mother this caused me to have a lot of anxiety. In addition to the regular new mom concerns — is my baby breathing, will my baby wake up, am I feeding them enough, are they pooping enough — I also worried about this happening to my other eye and what if ITo this day, I continue to suffer from anxiety and this particular topic sets it into overdrive.
Today I go for an annual check up to monitor the health of my eyes. The hope is that maybe one day they’ll be able to inject healthy stem cells where I have the scarring but that is still many years away. Until then I will try my best to be present with my kids and the people I love and not allow this one set back to dictate the rest of my life.
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