We’re taught that we must take care not to offend fragile egos and to put our own needs aside.
I couldn’t believe my ears ‘I worry about saying no to sex with my boyfriend.’ Sitting across from my friend at the pub, my eyebrows shot up in shock. We had casually been discussing our sex lives over a drink – something we often do – when she stopped me in my tracks with this confession. She went as far to say that she’ll even sometimes give excuses to avoid sleeping with her partner. ‘It’s easier than explaining why I’m not feeling horny,‘ she adds. Her admission concerned me for two reasons.
I remember feeling annoyed in both instances but on both occasions, after enough nagging, I relented and made them climax just to shut them up. Don’t misunderstand me, I still believe these experiences were consensual because I said yes – and, as a whole, I enjoy giving others pleasure – but I shouldn’t have had to ‘give in’ in the first place. Nor should I have felt the need to make up a reason to get out of it. It is always okay to say no to sex. No excuses necessary.
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