'My wife and kids already knew about my gender identity but after leaving the hospital, I realized it was time to tell everyone else.'
I had been regularly consulting with medical professionals via video conferencing after I first started experiencing symptoms in March. My entire household had come down with it at the same time, and I, being the hopeless paranoid neurotic that I am, was obsessively watching everyone for any sign that things might be taking a turn for the worse with them. I was so worried about everyone else that I nearly missed what was happening with me.
When I was discharged from the hospital a week later, I was 20 pounds lighter than I’d been at the start of my ordeal, had briefly participated in a clinical trial for remdesivir, and was filled with a determination that surprised me with both its intensity and its purpose: I wasn’t going to live in the closet anymore.
I also joined a few online spaces where fellow non-binary people gathered. Mostly I remained on the periphery, wondering if I was non-binary “enough” to merit a seat at the table. And even if I did, the overwhelming majority of people I was sporadically interacting with who also identified as non-binary were young enough to be my offspring if I had been a teenage parent, which made me acutely uncomfortable in discussing these sorts of issues with them.
But emotionally, what stuck out in my mind was an incident when I was 18 years old and my mom briefly got it into her head that I might be gay. To me, she seemed entirely too excited at the prospect, which had made me uncomfortable.
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