Dear How to Do It: My boyfriend insists it’s harmless. I don’t trust it.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years. About a year ago, he talked to me about threesomes and a swinging lifestyle, and stated that he really wanted to have a threesome and include another man so they could both fully satisfy me. My husband enjoyed the thought of watching another man pleasure me.I told him that I wouldn’t be too fond of the idea because I would not be OK with him penetrating another woman, and I didn’t think it would be fair for me to have “fun” while he didn’t.
“Remember when this all started and you said this was about two men pleasuring me? That isn’t the situation anymore, and I’m not OK with going any further.” Don’t let your husband—or anyone else—weaponize rhetoric about the destructiveness of alike jealousy. You can’t control your feelings, only your actions. And, hey, you both signed up for monogamy, which can be defined as two peopleOf course you’re a little possessive. Of course you want something about the relationship that is solely yours.
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