Simon Cowell launches hunt to find the next UK boyband phenomenon with nationwide campaign.
Simon Cowell broke down in tears as he revealed he felt he 'had nothing to live for' after his parents died.
He said as he broke down: 'Before him I had reached the point where nothing mattered. It all hit me so hard. Being on TV I felt like a clown because I was dying inside. I put on loads of weight. 'I thought 'what have I got to live for'. I didn't want to take my own life but I thought 'if something terrible happens to me it wouldn't bother me'. I do still suffer with depression sometimes.'
'I got addicted to that lifestyle. I had to find something to fill the loss and I became a workaholic. I was very successful but so unhappy. ' He also went into detail about his dad passing away and how he couldn't even think about him for a long time after the loss as it was too painful. 'He would have loved to have seen me on TV. Losing both my parents was without a doubt the hardest thing that has ever happened to me.'
'And everything is about the blanket he always needs to know where it is. One day he was holding it and he said 'I'm thinking about grandma and grandpa' and then I started to believe they are still with us. 'It was as bad as things could possibly be. We had the most amazing relationship. I looked up to both of them and I could go to both of them when I needed advice and they would be there for me.'
'It was obvious as soon as they went on the show that they would be really really successful. They were the perfect group. They made a lot of money.', he admitted. The band were formed on X Factor in 2010. The group was composed of Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, and previously Zayn Malik until his departure from the group in March 2015.
He said: 'I also did couple's therapy with Lauren - that would make the best reality show on the planet!'
Tvshowbiz Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Steven Bartlett
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