The questions began almost immediately, and it always started with a compliment.
In line at the grocery check-out counter, strangers would coo at my Nordic baby, then ask me if I was the nanny. A well-heeled mother at the park watched me interact with my son, praised my attentiveness and then asked for my daily rate. Thoroughly disoriented, I told her I was not a prostitute, becauseDo you know what it’s like to always be questioned about your belonging? I can tell you from experience, it makes you feel small, less than.
So let’s take a minute to go over the family picture again: There’s me, Chinese with the round face; my Nordic husband and son; and our baby girl with dandelion-shaped hair. Norman Rockwell painting, we are not. Yes, these are my children. I grew them. I was there when they came screaming out of my body. I have witnesses. Yes, I know they don’t look like me.
Other times, I say, “So what? Why do you ask?” Because what is the intent of pointing out differences except to possibly make someone feel little or left-out?
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