Dear Pay Dirt: He refuses to acknowledge that statistically I am likely to outlive him by 20 years.
I have a loving, adoring husband who is 12 years older than me. I make around $100,000 a year and he makes five to six times that amount depending on how his bonuses go. He has recently started more aggressively saving for retirement with the goal in mind to have us both retire at the same time in 15 years . He has worked hard and supports almost all of our daily household expenses—I am aligned with him in this ambitious goal.
However, in all of my husband’s calculations, he bases our retirement needs on his lifespan and refuses to acknowledge that statistically I am likely to outlive him by 20 years and will require funds to support myself in that additional stretch of retirement. Frustrating, but I believe I have a tidy solution! I am the sole beneficiary of a trust, from which I took a $1 million dollar distribution to buy us our marital home because even though he makes a lot, he had very little saved at the time.
When he asked about the present value of the trust in order to use that in calculating what we have saved currently for our retirement, I told him there was $1 million left when in fact, there is $2 million. The trust will be dissolved next year and all remaining funds distributed to me.
At the core of your question is a fear shared by many women: They won’t be taken care of in their old age if their husband predeceases them. Once wealthy widows living in reduced circumstances is a recurring theme in many of Jane Austen’s works because women’s inheritances became their husband’s property when they were married. Husbands were expected to invest their wife’s dowry in tand take only its 4 percent to 5 percent annual interest for household income.
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