'I’m a stepmum like Kate Ferdinand, the kids called me mum straight away' affiliate
Stepfamilies are now the fastest-growing family type in the UK, with celebrities including Kate Ferdinand opening up about their experience as a stepmum. In fact, it’s estimated that one in three of all families are now what we’ve come to call blended families, according to Happy Steps, the research-based stepfamily resource centre.
“I lived a heteronormative life until I was 30, when I came to a realisation about my sexuality. I started dating women and, five years ago, Sam and I matched on Tinder. It was chemistry from the get-go and I thought, “This is absolutely why they call it ‘the other half’ of a person.” Gradually, I became a part of the furniture and, when Harry was four, we told the kids we were going to get married. It was like something switched in their heads and the next day Harry started calling me Mummy.
We’re not just a lesbian family, we’re a product of divorce, so we’re a double whammy. But they can draw parallels with some of their friends now and understand marital dynamics and the complexities of adult relationships. ‘I feel really proud of the relationship we’ve built’ Chantelle Znideric, 44, is a personal stylist who lives with her husband Hayden, 49, and their children Suuki, 11, and Marni, nine, in Devon. She got together with Hayden when his son Gabriel, now 19, was a baby.
Yet after a while, everything started to feel natural and in 2009, when we got married, I officially became a stepmother. By then, Gabriel was four and I became part of helping to bring him up. I’ve never been “Mum”, he’s always called me Chantelle, but my love for him gradually built and we all just muddled through together.
A step-parenting relationship is special, almost like the one a grandparent has. You love them, you’re part of their life and you’re always there for them, and they know that. But then, they go back to their other home and you look forward to seeing them the next time. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and I miss him now he’s not around so much. But when I see him, there are so many different things to talk about. I feel really proud of the relationship we’ve built together.
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