Problems people have with sex can include desire discrepancy, low sex drive, or just plain boredom.
I had a ten-year sexless marriage in my twenties. There, I said it. I married a man I loved dearly. He was loving, funny, and gorgeous, but the thought of having sex with him made my skin crawl. Eventually, I left.
It's only now that I am able to look back and see the micro and the macro of my relationship with my husband, in and out of bed, and recognize that skillful navigation of our sexual relationship would have spared us both a decade of suffering inside what was otherwise a loving and respectful partnership.
My client, Kate, had a history of struggling to reach orgasm with a partner, an issue she didn't encounter when she was with herself. She reached out to me when she had entered into a new relationship and didn't want to fall into her familiar pattern of not being able to have an orgasm during sex and all the compensating behaviors, including faking orgasms to spare her partner's ego.
After college, she moved across the country, launched her career, met someone, and got engaged. It was then that she reached out to me because she felt intimidated by having sex with her partner, who was much more experienced. Her partner was a generous lover and asked her regularly about her sexual preferences; what she likes and how to touch her. Grace didn't have answers to any of these questions.
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