By moving to a new, progressive city where no one assumed I was straight, I skipped right over an uncomfortable coming out process.
In one of my most vivid middle school memories, I’m sitting in the grass during a break at field hockey practice. One of older girls on the team grabs the hand of a quiet sixth-grader as she reaches for a water bottle, pulls it close to her own face, and announces, “If you have hair on your fingers above the first knuckle, it means you’re a lesbian.”
For the next 12 years, that fear was enough to keep me from giving the idea too much thought. It kept me from understanding that my feelings toward certain teachers were crushes and from seeing a close college “friendship” for what it really was. And after settling into a job just 45 minutes away from my small, conservative Pennsylvania hometown, it kept me from consideringThen, in a cliche so tired that I am embarrassed to type it, I moved to Brooklyn with my cat and started dating women.
That was over a year ago now and aside from a week over the holidays, I hadn’t come back to my hometown for more than a weekend. But after two weeks of isolating in a tiny apartment due to the COVID-19 pandemic, my girlfriend and I decided to take my brother up on his offer to pick us up and bring us to my family’s home.
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