“We start to perceive ourselves the way we think others are perceiving us.'
showing that body-focused gratitude exercises can reduce internalised weight bias and improve body image.When a photo causes you to obsess about how you appear to others, it can be helpful to remember that famous truism often attributed to writer Olin Miller: “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
Try putting yourself in their shoes, Seegmiller suggests: Do you pick apart photos of the people you care about, or even strangers, and obsess about them for days? In most cases, I’m guessing the answer is no. And even if you do, that’s likely about your own insecurities and not about that person’s perceived flaws, Seegmiller adds.In the moment that I saw the distressing dinner party candid, I wouldn’t have been able to name a single thing I liked about it, all I saw were my “flaws.
To help with seeing the, um, full picture, Seegmiller recommends identifying three things that you like about the photo in question, and then another three things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance. That’s what I did, and I can attest that it helped me put things in perspective and remember the things that make me feel good about myself .
I always feel a little knot of dread in my stomach before looking at a photo of myself , and that may always be the case. But I now know that I can learn to change my reaction once I see a photo, and that this shift in mindset just might be what allows me to create beautiful, real memories—not just photographic ones—in the moment. As Seegmiller says, “We are complex, introspective, and deep human beings having a human experience. A photo can’t, won’t, and doesn’t capture that.
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