You need an exhausting hobby right now
Photo-Illustration: by Stevie Remsberg; source images Getty Hot Bod is a weekly exploration of fitness culture and its adjacent oddities.
If the outdoors are available to you, emerge! The natural world is a salve. Sunshine is antiseptic. Get that new air. Bike very fast, run however. Make a phone call and walk up a hill near you. Don’t think about all the times the gym was there and you didn’t go. Sometimes I wonder if the gym actually exists, or if it’s just a rude specter that exists to haunt us about unfulfilled intentions.
If you’re spiraling: Do some push-ups. If you find yourself refreshing a .gov website more than two times in two minutes: Do some push-ups. If you are impatient, jittery, mean, frustrated, short of breath, or imitating a puddle with your whole torso: Do some push-ups. If you’re lying in bed under the waft of bleach sprayed onto your light switch ten minutes ago: Do some interesting push-ups.
If you’re stuck inside, it’s going to be weird. This is unavoidable. But you can get weird in a fashion that’s as distracting and freeing as possible. In Cynthia Heimel’s 1983 bad attitude cult book Sex Tips for Girls, she proposes a truly interesting perspective on exercise:
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