Especially now, we could all afford to know more about how to be gracious and supportive during a friend’s divorce. KTHeaney spoke to relationship and divorce experts for their suggestions
Photo: Andesign101/Getty Images/iStockphoto One of the reasons I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone but my closest friends about my divorce is because I don’t want to hear what most people have to say. Very few people are adept at responding to unhappy personal news with on-the-spot candor and grace; most people know well enough to furrow their brow and say, “I’m sorry,” before becoming uncomfortable immediately thereafter.
“Coming from a place of curiosity is better than assuming it’s a tragedy and that they deserve buckets and buckets of pity,” adds Pettus. Here, as in most cases, it’s best to be proactive rather than passive; saying “let’s hang out” is nice but less likely to result in actual plans than a specific invitation in the short-term future. It doesn’t need to be anything major, and sometimes the thing that allows your divorcing friend to stay in sweatpants is better: Offer to come over for takeout or ask them to join you for a weekend errand. The activity is less important than your friendly presence and support.
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