When you're so used to putting others' needs before your own, you can lose your sense of who you are and what you want. Here's how to start getting it back.
I noticed this trait in myself when someone asked me once what I liked. I came out with a whole list of things which I did—work, looking after my kids, helping my mum… and they smiled and asked again, what did I like?
It was a tough question to answer. When you’re the victim of narcissistic abuse, you become so externally focused on, initially, your mother, and then other people in your life, that you may have a poorly defined sense of who you are as a person. You’re a daughter, a mother, a brother, a father… but who are you?
Your likes, dislikes, values, desires and wants are so referenced to the likes, dislikes, values, desires and wants of other people that it’s almost impossible to say who you are and what you need and desire. If you have experienced narcissistic abuse as a child, it’s likely that yourhas been affected and that you place a low value on yourself as a person.
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