Some fertility clinics are starting to re-open, but many people's plans to start or grow their families have already been altered.
That’s almost as old as my mom was when she had me, so for a long time it seemed like. It also seemed so far away, even as I entered my early thirties. I was spending my time having wine-soaked dinners with pals, travelling for weeks on end solo and generally enjoying being a single woman with paid-off student loans and a little disposable income for the first time, well, ever.
Pacinthe Mattar, a 34-year-old journalist living in Toronto, was, like me, hoping to date and jump into a relationship at some point—but it didn’t feel like a pressing concern. Now, however, she has been struck by the sensation that even the opportunity to try is slipping away from her. “I feel like I’m holding a basketball—it’s like, I’m Kawhi Leonard and I’ve got the ball and I have to make the shot, and the shot clock is running out.
Fertility treatments require a barrage of tests, and must occur before the actual treatments can begin. MacIndoe was just finishing her tests when Ontario’s lockdown protocols temporarily cancelled all non-essential medical procedures, including fertility treatments and assistance. One of the things I have struggled with personally is that worrying about my own future seems so small in the grand scheme of things.
Part of learning to manage grief is acceptance. At this moment, I think what that means is learning to accept uncertainty. None of us know what the future holds—but did we really know before, either? There were no guarantees that by 36 I’d have everything I wanted lined up for my life before kids in place—or. Maybe I’ll always just want to be the fun aunt to my friends’ children.
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