Grieving and saying goodbye in the time of coronavirus

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Grieving and saying goodbye in the time of coronavirus
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Cemeteries have drastically altered what they do out of fear that some mourners who don't know they are infected with coronavirus might infect others and fear of quarantine has prevented families from flying in to pay their last respects.

In this 2011 family photo provided by Dawn Bouska, Charles Recka and his wife, Patricia Recka, pose for a photo at a banquet in Naperville, Ill. Charles Recka died on March 12, 2020.

While in some places, bodies of people who have died from COVID-19 are stacking up at hospitals and people are buried quickly in the clothes they died in, Recka’s death from an unrelated long illness tells a different story: One of families whose grief just happened to arrive amid a pandemic that has them terrified to even share a church pew with loved ones, let alone hug them.

Recka’s experience is part of the new normal when it comes to funerals. Daughters of a retired police officer don’t dare get on a plane to fly to Chicago for his funeral out of fear they could be separated from their children for weeks if they are placed under quarantine. Some veterans cemeteries in the U.S. have stopped holding memorial services altogether, after first telling older veterans to stay away.

“For them not to see how those organizations honor their father is tough,” said Cerqua, who drove from Texas to Illinois to be with his brother’s widow. “It’s heartbreaking.”“His oldest daughter in Arizona has a daughter with special needs and her husband’s a paramedic” who must stay home, he said.

Some funerals are being delayed altogether. Country singer Reba McEntire recently postponed one for her mother, posting on social media that “we will continue to monitor the situation and let you know as soon as possible about future plans to celebrate her life.” In San Antonio, mourners can drive by Mission Park Funeral Chapels and Cemeteries, look inside to see family members and the casket or urn, paying their respects from their cars.Jill Wine-Banks, an author from Chicago, said she and a group of friends had a meal delivered to a college friend whose husband died after his small, family-only funeral.

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