THE HEAVENS—Saying He was astounded with their continued tenacity and resilience through generations of life on earth, God Almighty, our Lord and Heavenly Father, declared today His overwhelming pride in cockroaches.
The Divine Creator, who spoke extensively with reporters about the prevalent group of insects, repeatedly stated that cockroaches have “far exceeded” His expectations for them and conveyed His deep admiration for the accomplishments of all 4,500 cockroach species.“Cockroaches have come a long way since I first created them—they’ve really flourished over the eons and have clearly established themselves as one of earth’s great creatures,” the Eternal One proclaimed.
Calling the insects’ adaptability to constant environmental changes “unparalleled,” the Maker of Heaven and Earth was visibly elated when discussing the tremendous volume of vibrant, cooperative communities that cockroaches have built across the world despite possessing neither complex brain structures nor opposable thumbs.
“If I had to describe cockroaches in one word, it would have to be ‘fearless,’” the Supreme Being said, smiling widely as He reflected on the continuing successes of cockroaches. “I was just watching the other night when six or seven of them scurried right across the face of Daniel Jaffe of Urbana, IL—who is something like 40 times bigger than them, mind you—and they didn’t even think twice about it. And that kind of thing happens thousands of times every day.
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