5 ways to move towards forgiveness and let go of harmful stress and resentment, from DeggesWhite
—as if their anger is doing harm or punishing another person. However, the decision to keep the flame of resentment burning is only going to do harm to the person who refuses to let go of their negative feelings for the other. No matter how “right” you feel in continuing to identify as the “wronged” party, you are keeping yourself from living more fully in the present and moving more freely into the future.
Accept not only that an incident occurred but accept that there are unpleasant feelings that were left in its wake. It’s okay to have been angered or hurt, but it’s not in your best interest to carry these feelings as a lifelong commitment to self-determined suffering. Acknowledge that there is more to be gained in taking control of your emotions in the present than in allowing the past to continue to control you today.
Choose to either address the incident head-on by having an honest conversation with the person who you feel wronged you or to simply let the incident go and focus on the present and the people who matter to you now.The word “unforgiving” is used to describe people or processes that do not allow for error or weakness. Conversely, if someone or some process if “forgiving,” it’s assumed that there is room for error or the absence of strict penalties if a particular mark is not met dead-on.
Learning to forgive others can take some time to learn. Research suggests that as we mature, we are more able to allow for forgiveness and to accept the shortcomings of others. The health benefits of choosing to let things go include decreased stress on our bodies and minds and decreased anger showing up in inappropriate ways or in levels that aren’t equivalent to a situation.
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