We are often told to 'feel their feelings,' but nobody tells us how to do that. These 4 steps can help.
Often what seems like feeling your feelings is actually running away from or getting stuck in them.We get this message that allowing ourselves to feel our emotions is good for us. It’s like eating our broccoli. But no one ever tells us how. What do they mean by feeling your emotions? How the hell are we supposed to just feel them?
These behaviors can actually be about avoiding your emotions, as well as your life. Have you ever found yourself having trouble letting go of some injustice? Maybe you felt wronged by someone’s insensitive comment, you were passed over for that promotion, or you lost a person or pet who was precious to you. You may have noticed that long past the usefulness of thinking and talking about it all the time, you were still thinking and talking about it all the time.
Feeding your emotions means giving them more power than they need. Stoking their fires. Offering them treats to snack on. This is another kind of avoidance because it takes you away from simply experiencing the emotion as it is. Instead, you inflate it into something else.
2. Next, in your mind’s eye, slowly scan your body from head to toe, observing all the places where the physical sensations that are part of your emotion manifest in your body. Emotions are made up of thoughts, physical sensations, and urges. Focus away from the thoughts and toward the sensations and urges.
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