Grieving the loss of my dog, Tovi, I adopted a puppy that didn't match up with my checklist. Millie's behavioral problems were a challenge.
It started as a typical rebound relationship. I was drowning in grief, and to say my judgment was impaired is an understatement. Tovi had died two weeks prior, breeding an impulsivity in me that no intervention could interrupt. I was sure adopting another dog would sedate my debilitating pain. The day after he died, I frantically dragged my husband to three shelters and cried when no one came home with us. Tovi was the closest thing to a soul mate I’ve ever had.
The blank checkboxes haunted me. On walks, fearful of anyone she didn’t know and unsure of how she would react, I would introduce her from a distance as my “new dog” and not let anyone near her. I would emotionally vomit on strangers about how I had the most incredible dog before her. As if to prove I once had that dog. Millie was a constant reminder of my impulsivity, filling me with resentment at every glance. I went through the motions of being the quintessential dog mom.
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