The millions of sexual assault survivors deserve our respect, support, and empathy, but never our pity.
The E. Jean Carroll vs. Donald Trump rape trial is, no doubt, eliciting a lot of understandable reactions in sexual assault survivors.* I'm a psychotherapist who, for years, has been privileged to work with many survivors. I used to consult to a rape crisis center. I don't need to hear one word of a trauma story to do trauma work, but I've heard countless stories. Stories of hope, of shame, of fear, of anger, of grief and betrayal. Stories of atrocious violence.
Even more trauma comes from being judged for what one did during the assault or right afterward."Why didn't they run?""Why didn't he fight?""How could she possibly laugh??" Those questions all belie a total and complete ignorance of the mechanisms of trauma and millennia of nervous system evolution. Our survival strategies kick in, and, more often than not, we don't have time for conscious decision making; it just happens.
Then there's what happens right afterward. You might not go to the police . You might not call a rape crisis center or a friend. Maybe you laugh uncontrollably, disoriented, incredulous at the surreal thing that just happened. People anxiously or disconnectedly laugh at horrible things that have happened to them. I see it all the time in my practice. Maybe you go back to a party, ignoring for the moment what just happened. Maybe you go shopping for dinner."Everything's cool.
As Carroll has, many do come forward years or decades later. Again, the accusatory cries of,"Why didn't she come forward earlier?" are absolutely uninformed.
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Judge blasts Trump’s ‘entirely inappropriate’ Truth Social post on E. Jean Carroll rape lawsuitA Manhattan judge blasted Donald Trump’s “entirely inappropriate” Truth Social posts on second day of trial — as witness testimony began Wednesday.
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Judge, defense attorney spar over Trump's comments in E. Jean Carroll battery, defamation caseTestimony begins Wednesday in the civil defamation and battery trial of former President Trump, who is accused of raping writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s.
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'I’m here because Trump raped me': E. Jean Carroll begins trial testimonyFormer President Donald Trump claims in a civil suit from writer E. Jean Carroll that he raped her in a New York department store, and defamed her years later.
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'Trump raped me,' E. Jean Carroll testifies in battery, defamation caseTestimony begins Wednesday in the civil defamation and battery trial of former President Trump, who is accused of raping writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s.
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How E. Jean Carroll camp's opening statement went from compelling to can't-look-away.lawofruby: The start of the E. Jean Carroll v. Donald Trump defamation and battery civil trial was unlike anything I've seen in a federal courthouse. (via MaddowBlog)
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E. Jean Carroll tells jury ‘Donald Trump raped me’“I’m here because Donald Trump raped me, and when I wrote about it, he said it didn’t happen. He lied and shattered my reputation, and I’m here to try and get my life back,” E. Jean Carroll testified.
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