Dating hasn't been part of her life before now.
My newly minted 18-year-old daughter informed us last night that she was asked out on a date by a 23-year-old co-worker. She’s a senior in high school who hasn’t really dated due to her school and athletic commitments. He’s finished college and is living on his own. By all accounts, he seems like a nice young person, but we’re going to the restaurant where they work tomorrow night to meet him before he takes her out ice skating.
If she’s anything like me , telling her “no” will result in her seeing him anyway and damaging her relationship with us. We’ve talked about a number of things she needs to consider if this friendship becomes something else, including: Is he interested in participating in the customs of a high school senior ? How do their different levels of life experience play out? Etc.
While I doubt this will be a lasting romantic relationship, I feel like she needs to make these decisions herself, and our role is to guide her through this experience to make sure she stays safe, smart, and true to herself.Dear Trying, It sounds like you’ve raised a responsible young woman who will proceed with some level of caution as she dates this older guy. Given that she’s open to you meeting him at their shared place of employment, she’s probably confident that you won’t embarrass her or try to dissuade the young man from going out with her.
All of this is great! It means you’ve built a healthy level of trust with your newly adult child. Shape your inquiries with that trust in mind. Ask the typical getting-to-know you questions and not necessarily the “What are your intentions toward my daughter?” kind. It’s likely he wouldn’t know how to honestly answer a question like that anyway, as they haven’t had the opportunity to go out yet.
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