Advice from Annie Lane.
The old rule of thumb was the gift should cover the plate. Others say it’s a gift and you’re not responsible for paying for the couple’s wedding.
Is it a gift, or must we pay for all expenses for each of us? When our children got married, many people were very generous, and some were not.: As far as the amount to give, it varies. Cultures have different ways of handling important events like a birth, a wedding or a funeral. You mentioned an “old rule of thumb” stating that “the gift should cover the plate.” That sounds fine for some people, but perhaps not for you. It sounds like your gift was as generous as it could be.
After much digging and many other behaviors that seemed related, my therapist recommended I be evaluated for ADD. I come from a generation where ADD/ADHD seemed to be a buzzword and a condition that was over-diagnosed to explain troubled behaviors in kids, so I wasn’t necessarily on board.
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