In today's column, Annie Lane hears from a reader who received a terminal diagnosis and is also struggling with his wife distancing herself from him.
Although he could still have years left to live, today's reader thinks his wife is starting to treat him like he's already dead.A month ago, I received some troubling news from my doctor. She said I have a rare bone marrow disorder and have five years at the most to live. What was troubling was that my wife of 35 years started to withdraw from me as if she is already readying herself for a life without me. I tried to tell her how I feel, but she turns it around saying it’s just me.
What you feel is your wife withdrawing from you might instead be her own grief and fear around your diagnosis manifesting. You’re both now facing a future you weren’t anticipating, but neither of you have to confront it alone. Seeing a couples counselor or a leader in your local church might prove helpful to you and your wife in accepting and moving forward in this new reality. The time you have together is finite and precious; do lean on and love one another.
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