'He also uses his approval as a weapon to make me feel guilty and do what he wants.'
My parents are divorced. My father, who I’m sure loves me in his own way, is super controlling and manipulative. He wasn’t nice to my older siblings, either. He constantly lied and blamed others for his abusive behavior, which made me hate them. He constantly claimed Mom cheated on him and said my siblings were horrible kids.
When I was a child, I believed him. But as I grew older, I started seeing through his lies. He still tries to do it. He also uses his approval as a weapon to make me feel guilty and do what he wants. For example, he’s very religious, and he told me often that if I wasn’t religious, he’d stop loving me just as easily as he loves me.
I just want to live my life, but I know if I do, he’ll cut me off and keep my younger siblings from communicating with me. I love them, and knowing him, he’ll tell them lies about me the way he did with me about my older siblings. He wants me to marry someone from our religion, but I have fallen in love with someone who doesn’t have our same points of view. This person is aware of the situation, but eventually, if things progress, my dad will find out.
None of the other people in my life do this. We all have lives to live -- some busier than others. But with the others, we see each other on birthdays, holidays and other celebrations where we all get together, visit and catch up. This everyday texting is getting on my nerves to the point where some days I don’t respond to either of them.
I have tried subtly and blatantly to tell them to stop, but to no avail. What else do I need to say or do? I have known both of these people for 40 years, and it seems they only “hear” me when I flip out on them -- something I’m trying to change about myself.It would not be “flipping out” to firmly tell these needy sisters you do not have time to text with them on a daily basis because you are a busy person and being bombarded is distracting.
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