Dear Abby advises a woman who is burdened by a family secret, and another woman who feels disrespected by her sister-in-law.
While doing some genealogy research during the pandemic, I came across my maternal grandfather’s death certificate. I knew he had died at a fairly young age during the Depression. But I was shocked to learn that he had committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his car in the garage of their home. His little restaurant was not doing well, and money was scarce. I imagine he was desperate and depressed.
Because this secret is troubling you, you should definitely bring it out in the open. It might be helpful to your children to know that depression may run in the family. They have a lot more money than we do, so spending $100 at a restaurant is nothing to them. I’m not comfortable spending money like that. I cook at home, which she rarely does. I dread the weekends when they come. How can I tell her that inIn the interest of preserving family harmony, do not confront your sister-in-law. You and your husband should speak to herhis brother and lay down some ground rules about their visits, particularly the excessive spending on restaurants.
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