A woman asks Abby for advice on how to deal with her mother.
When I was in middle school, my mother made many poor decisions that culminated in her incarceration and a rather unpleasant boyfriend. Now that I have kids of my own, I feel I have more perspective on my mother’s choices -- and it’s not a flattering picture.
After she was released, she still didn’t show up for any significant milestones in my or my siblings’ lives. Hearing about the poor decisions she continues to make gets me so upset that a phone call leaves me reeling for a couple days, if not weeks. I have reached the point where I can no longer maintain a relationship with her, so I have gone radio silent.
She has been reaching out for months, apologizing to me and begging for contact. When I get those messages, my heart drops. I know how painful it is when someone walks away, especially a family member. But I can’t listen to her anymore. How can I express this to her? I want to handle this with grace, but I just want to cry. --The “graceful” way to deal with your mother would be to end the radio silence and tell her the truth.
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