Dear Abby: After being molested as a child, I struggle to be a ‘normal’ adult

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Dear Abby: After being molested as a child, I struggle to be a ‘normal’ adult
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Some folks blamed me for the abuse, although it started before I was 8.

Sometimes I feel I should tell my partner, as it does affect my behavior – I have low self-esteem, etc. I’ve had counseling, but it didn’t help me. When I confronted my abuser years later, he told me it was my problem.

Do I need to share this to be completely honest about who I am? I have never felt “normal.” It’s as if I’m carrying a dreaded secret. Any advice?What you suffered as a child was not your fault. You needed counseling then, not blame. Because you didn’t receive it at that time, it isn’t surprising your problems followed you wherever you went.

Not knowing your partner, I cannot decide for you whether you should reveal your history to him. I can, however, strongly recommend that you contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network . When you do, you will be talking with a trained counselor who can guide you. Nothing you confide will be a shock to that person, and you may be put in touch with help in your local area.and its toll-free phone number is 800-656-4673. Please don’t wait to reach out. Everything is confidential.

A day later, I found out from another friend of mine that Lizzy was dating my twin brother. She never asked me if I was OK with that, let alone informed me that they had feelings for each other. Does this give me the right to date Lizzy’s ex?I think so. But don’t do it without first clearing the air with her, because if things work out with your twin brother, you are likely to be seeing a lot of Lizzy in the future.

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