Getting cut off by a friend can bring on symptoms of depression, anxiety and rumination, says this psychotherapist.
LONDON: If you’ve ever gone through a friendship breakup you aren’t alone - one study from the US found 86 per cent of teenagers had experienced one., losing a friend - especially one who has been close to you - can be just as hard.
They also said things like: “Why do I feel so devastated, when it’s not like they’re my life partner or anything? How can I talk about how bad this feels - or get support when people will probably think I’m overreacting?”THE BOND OF FRIENDSHIPAs children, our most important relationships are with our parents or caregivers. But during adolescence this changes.
As a psychotherapist, I often hear clients describe how friends provide ongoing stability even when romantic relationships might come and go. Having a best friend is an important part of healthy development. The biggest reasons for friendships ending in young adulthood are physical separation, making new friends which replace old ones, growing to dislike the friend and interference due to dating or marriage.
By talking, you can also reassure each other of your commitment to the friendship - even if you need to adjust how you spend time together. Giving a friendship space to grow, change, go through rough patches, but still come together again, can strengthen your bond and allow it to continue through many years of tumultuous life events. Long friendships will naturally go through fluctuations, so it’s normal if sometimes you feel closer and other times further apart.
You can help yourself get through such waves by practising diaphragmatic breathing, which is evidenced to reduce stress. This is an easy technique you can do by yourself anywhere and at any time.
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