Holding grudges can keep one mired in anger, resentment and bitterness for years, negatively impacting other relationships, one's quality of life and even one's physical health.
Grudges can mean giving more power to the person who hurt you.“I couldn’t believe it,” my long-time friend Maurice told me recently. “I ran into X at an industry function lately. I hadn’t seen her in years! I went over and greeted her warmly. But she wasn’t just rude. She was hostile. I can’t understand. Do you think she’s anti-Semitic?”
Grudges can separate families, sometimes forever. Grudges can keep people stuck in anger, bitterness and blame, negatively impacting subsequent relationships. Grudges can keep you rooted in the past instead of finding joy in the present. In holding a grudge, you unwittingly give the other person negative power over your life and emotions instead of moving on and creating a new and better life for yourself.
So why would anyone hold a grudge? Some hold onto hurt and anger because they feel unfairly treated and are waiting, sometimes forever, for an apology. Some hold grudges because it seems to be a show of strength: refusing to forgive even though the other person apologizes, even perhaps pleading forpast with family members, feel that to let go and forgive is to negate the seriousness of the transgressions, letting the other person off the hook, minimizing the depth of the pain.
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