TODAY's style editor writes: 'Dating after loss can feel like two incomplete pieces of art, the artists deciding whether they can complement each other.'
, in December 2020. More than two years later, Bobbie is ready — or trying to be ready! — to get back onto the dating scene, although she says doing so brings up lots of complicated feelings. Foron TODAY.com, she’s taking readers along as she figures out how the apps work, how to juggle dating with being a solo parent to her son, Miles, and how she can look toward the future without forgetting any of her past.
Dating as widowed parents can make five months feel like both five years and only five dates all at once. It demands a level of maturity and almost administrative coordination just to find time together. And the time thatspent getting to know each other requires an even deeper level of communication and context, beyond what’s already required to sustain a relationship.
As summer unfolded, our routines were tossed aside and our respective social obligations with friends and family were added to the mix. We did our best to tackle it all, and were excited to now try a week-long stay with the kids. It was great to finally be together — but as the week wore on, so did the stress of managing two kids and our own respective responsibilities. Even though we were in the same place, it was still difficult to find one-on-one time.
I wish I could have paused and put aside my feelings from the prior weeks, to just be present in the moment that we were together. But I didn’t know how to hold back. Within an hour of my arrival, I dove right into a “talk” in an effort to feel closer. Instead, I could feel his emotional availability was out of reach.
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