Being demisexual is a 'way of being, not a choice or a preference' when dating

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Being demisexual is a 'way of being, not a choice or a preference' when dating
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What does it mean to be demisexual? How asexuality changes people’s attitude to dating 💬 'For a demisexual, this way of being is not a choice or a preference'

“A lot of people see demisexuality as an extension of normal sexuality,” says Lynn, “such as when a person makes an active choice to abstain from sex because a connection with someone before having sex feels better than when you don’t have one, or if a person says they prefer to get to know someone first before having sex. For a demisexual, this way of being is not a choice or a preference.

For those who grew up in a time where you might identify as heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, times have well and truly changed. Why are we seeing such a volume of new terms for sexuality?An abrosexual person is someone with fluid sexuality, whose sexuality and preferences may change throughout their livesThere are a few definitions of androsexuality, but the most common is a person who is attracted to individuals on the masculine side of the gender spectrum.

Peter Saddington, a counsellor and therapist at the relationship charity Relate, based in the Midlands, believes the change is partly down to more openness about sex generally. “Sex used to be taboo,” he says. “Everyone had sex, but you didn’t talk about it. The first big change was really the, when it became so readily available that people started realising what other people’s sexual orientation or interest might be.

There’s nothing new about humans liking labels. Labels help us make sense of ourselves and the world around us. What is new is the extent to which it’s happening now with sexual identity, as society’s understanding of sex expands. “For most people, there’s a desire to identify with others, rather than think of yourself as different, or not the same. So having a label can be comforting, it can give you permission to identify a certain way and feel accepted for it,” says Saddington.

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