“She rose above all the bullshit and showed us that we could too.”
On Halloween in 2011, I went out in public for the first time as a girl, and a few days later I told my very first friend that I was trans. And while I was trying to figure out who to tell next, less than two weeks later,In the episode, Santana Lopez, a mean Latina girl played by Afro-Latina and Puerto Rican actor Naya Rivera, is outed as a lesbian in a local political ad and immediately cries out, “I haven’t even told my parents yet.” And at that moment, I froze.
When her character is at her lowest and most vulnerable in the episode, Santana, alongside Mercedes Jones , puts on the best performance in the history ofThroughout the entire song, Rivera’s face is on the brink of sometimes tears, sometimes a scream, and sometimes both. She's singing Adele, but she’s not full of white woman sadness; she’s singing from a place of primal rage and existential fear.
Even before I was out, I had never seen a character on television who was as similar to me as Santana Lopez. I felt her fear of rejection deep in my Mexican bones. Just like her I pushed people away before they could push me, and I was afraid to be myself even around my own friends. I was afraid my Catholic family wouldn’t understand or accept me.And I watched her come out to her abuela, which gave me the confidence I needed to come out to mine.
Being a queer Latina is as tough as uncooked tripe, and even tougher in a place like Ohio or Idaho . But Santana always made sure her voice was heard and that she was seen. She gave queer Latinas an example of how to stand up for ourselves. She gave us instructions on how to fight back against all the bullshit we face from white people, from straight people, from religious people, from our families, from our schools, and from our friends.
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