Should I go forward with our marriage despite her duplicity?
Your girlfriend’s relationship with this man bothers you. She has responded by making sure to tell you that he made a pass at her, then dodging, and then lying.
She might have responded, “Your insecurities are unfounded. I have a right to have the friends I want to have, and if you are so worried about this guy, you should come along and meet him, yourself.” Instead, she slid past you and your therapist with what sounds like a version of “I don’t know why I like this guy, but IYou should take a close look at her willingness to dive into her own feelings, to explain herself cogently, and to push back when she has a position to defend. In these important ways, she sounds like a coward.My mother is a wonderful woman who has been living on her own for many years.
I’m fine with this — I believe she is getting good care — but my husband thinks I should be at the hospital with her at all times.It’s important that your mother has an advocate who has an awareness of her treatment and can communicate about medical care and options with her. It also makes a difference to her care team if they know that she has an advocate with an active presence.
I suggest letting her know that you will visit her every day at the same time , and then also show up at unanticipated times – to pop your head in, say hello and stay longer if she wants – and confer with her care team. It’s important to stay in the loop, but if your mother wants rest and privacy, then you should respect her wishes.
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