Ask Amy: Should I warn him about the party, or just hope he can handle it?

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Ask Amy: Should I warn him about the party, or just hope he can handle it?
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Plus: My husband is not allowed to tell his grandchildren that he has remarried.

Given the volatility of this romantic drama, you should tell both Amanda and Charles that you have invited both of them along with their partners. Including both is the path toward eventually neutralizing these friendships, but they might not be ready to move forward cordially.

To this day, she will not allow him to tell his grandchildren that he is married to me. He goes to see the children , although not as often as he would like. He tells me I’m not welcome.I’m excluded from everything. I’ve never seen any of his extended family members. Even on Christmas cards, all of his extended family leave me out and only put his name on the cards.

Maturity and authenticity should inoculate you from some of the traps and pitfalls of youth. Unfortunately, this is not the case in your marriage. This family has created a cycle of deceit. Their family system runs on it. They are completely comfortable pretending that you don’t exist.

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