Dear Amy: Over the course of our 16-year marriage my ex-husband often acted impulsively, in ways that were perhaps explained but not excused by his bipolar disorder.
Just after our second child was born, he kissed and groped a student at the local college whom he’d hired for a small job.The student was appropriately angry and got a lawyer to threaten a civil case against him for sexual harassment.
Recently I was shocked to learn that he’s a candidate for a prestigious appointment to the board of the alumni foundation of that same local college.I don’t want to deal with the hurt from a bad marriage by lashing out: I’d rather ignore him and move on. Even if your ex has completely reformed, and understanding that he has paid his debt to his victim , he is quite literally returning to the scene of the crime in an exalted position, and I think this past behavior is germane.Before being appointed, he might be asked to sign a document guaranteeing that he has not been the subject of a lawsuit involving the college. If he does so, and lies about it, he could face consequences that would be far worse than the college merely withdrawing this offer.
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