Dear Amy: I have encouraged the adult child I raised (also a biological child) to meet their half-sibling (via sperm donation), but the adult child I raised has not made much effort.
Thank you for supporting our journalism. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Chicago Tribune.A few years back, I discovered that I had fathered an adult child resulting from my being a sperm donor decades ago.This child sought me out because they “wanted more family.” We have become good friends and I treasure this relationship.
This is a complex and awkward situation for the child you raised, who I assume was not aware of your donation or prepared for the possibility of encountering a sibling until recently, whereas the recently discovered child sought out contact with you. My friends both live alone, so these check-ins may feel important to them, but I find them incredibly irritating.
I’ve turned off notifications and only reply to actual conversations, but my friends haven’t seemed to notice.I love my friends and want to communicate with them – even daily – but not in this forced, intrusive way.First, a word for tolerance.So – simply knowing that this exchange is sitting silently in your phone bothers you. I’m not judging you , but you must admit that this is the essence of sweating the small stuff.
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