She wallows in self-pity rather than trying to be a good mother to me.
I tried to tell her how much this had hurt me. In response, she cried, engaged in theatrics, pitied herself, and essentially told me that she was giving up on our relationship because she “always messes up.”
Your mother’s erratic and disappointing behavior has trained you to take responsibility for the outcome, but you need to find ways to lay down this weighty backpack you’ve been carrying. I suggest you join a “friends and family” support group such as Al-anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics , and also read “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents,” by clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson New Harbinger.Even though my daughter’s income is substantially below his, he insists that she pay 50 percent of their expenses. She is starting to fall behind and is going into debt in order to keep up.
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