Ask Amy: I’m offended by ‘condolences’ offered after my mother’s and sister’s deaths

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Ask Amy: I’m offended by ‘condolences’ offered after my mother’s and sister’s deaths
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In today's Ask Amy column, Amy Dickinson responds to someone who is struggling to grieve the deaths of their mother and sister.

My mother and sister passed away a year ago. Both had terminal cancer and suffered enormously prior to passing away.

I would prefer that they instead tell me that they are sorry that this has happened, or say nothing and just give me a soft look of understanding. I realize that most folks are not comfortable expressing their responses to one’s sorrows – they feel helpless – so I may be expecting too much.The word “condolence” may sound too formal to you, but remember that unlike many other expressions, such as “I’m sorry,” or “that’s terrible,” the word “condolence” is only used in response to a death.

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