Dear Amy: During a recent stay at the cabin, two of my friends made a spaghetti dinner. But it wasn’t until after we ate that they told us they had included wild mushrooms in the sauce. I was horrified. Was my reaction unfounded?
The next morning they told us that they had included mushrooms in the sauce that they had found behind the woodpile.I was horrified. I have a degree in biology and taught environmental science for over 30 years – neither of these guys has experience with mycology or taxonomy of fungi – nor could they even name the species of mushrooms that were used. When I expressed my dismay, they were defensive and eventually turned to taunting.
Two questions: Was my reaction unfounded , and do you have a suggestion for resolving this through communication?Your friends made a potentially dangerous choice; as it turned out, everyone got lucky and no one got sick. You conveyed your educated and legitimate concern, and you know your friends heard you because they resorted to taunting you for taking your position.You certainly have the right to bring your own food to these gatherings, but you aren’t being honest about your reason .
As the reality of confirming our long-standing commitment was now a possibility, it still took some time to consider how we see ourselves, our lifetimes of shared experiences, and our intertwined families.Marriage is not only a celebration and beginning; it is a personal acknowledgement of our long lives together.
But then some people could respond: “But you have only been married for 1 year...” as if to place a huge asterisk on our marriage.
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