Dear Amy: About four years ago, I casually friended a man on social media. We are both in our 60s. He has shared that he is in an unhappy marriage. We message several times a week. He started out calling me “hon” or “honey” and on occasion “sweetheart.”
Do I just abruptly stop messaging him, or should I continue with very “vanilla” messages until any interest is gone?Dear Wondering: According to your account, a bell went off when you learned that this man raced to meet a woman he’d met online when he was in-between marriages. He wasn’t married at the time, and so he wasn’t cheating on anyone when he did that.
Maybe your bell went off because you learned that you weren’t the first woman this man had befriended online. I suspect that he has other “hons and sweethearts” out there, and whether this is for his emotional, friendship or financial gain – this is how he rolls. It is possible for a very nice person to have relationships with lots of other online sweethearts; all the same he is not a good match for you.Your extremely lengthy relationship experience has been to suppress your own needs in order to serve someone else.
I have a neighbor who is very nice and kind. We wave to one another across our gardens, and occasionally engage in a little small talk.Yesterday she brought me a really nice plant from her garden. She said, “Hey lady, I thought you would like this.”I know that she works in a busy health-care environment, and it occurs to me that she has a lot of names in her head and might not remember mine.
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