“I stood silently outside her house. I followed her to work at a distance. I made sure she never saw me.”
For the first couple of weeks, Kim was amazing. She was understanding when I phoned her in the middle of the night in tears; she invited me in when I turned up at her house with little gifts, like a signed photograph of Joe Thomas from, her favourite TV show at the time. I kept thinking that if I could just find the right phrase or gesture, she would see the light. And the more she refused me, the more determined I became to try different tactics.
One night, I saw on her Facebook that she was going to a party at a bar. I decided to dress up really smart and go there myself, pretending I was waiting for a date. I walked around the bar that night with a massive glass of wine in my hand until I spotted her at a table in the corner with her friends. I just wanted to get a glimpse of her, but I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
As I watched her walk away, I felt physically sick. Though rather than stopping, it simply made me more secretive. I stood silently outside her house. I followed her to work at a distance. I made sure she never saw me. I felt like an unpaid private detective.It had been going on for four months when I considered suicide. I don't think I really wanted to kill myself; I saw it as something that couldn't fail to get her attention.
Of course, it didn't work out that way. Two things happened. The first was that I threw up. The second was that, a week later, I received a cease-and-desist letter from a solicitor. It read: “I have the right to remain free from these activities, as they constitute stalking, and I will pursue any legal remedies available to me against you if these activities continue.
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