I Googled “Korean wedding traditions” but realized I couldn’t tell which ones were authentic. After all, how would I know?
Lauren J. Sharkey and her partner married in May 2022. The months leading up the wedding were at times confusing and emotional for Sharkey, who was adopted as a baby from South Korea.
Whenever I meet Asian people, they know I’m not one of them. I can feel it as soon as we make eye contact. I can’t explain it — they just know, and I know they know. My first Asian friend laughed when I told her I was Korean and said, “Girl, you’re a Twinkie.” Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. It was the first time I’d heard the term, and when I began to explore my identity as a transracial adoptee.
As a teenager, I found an ease with everyone else’s mothers but my own. Friends’ moms seemed to love me. Being with them was easy in a way being with my mother never was. And while, at first, I would embrace it, guilt eventually took over. They say you don’t just marry a person, you marry their entire family. When my partner proposed, I knew he wasn’t just asking to grow old together — he was asking me to join his family, to be part of his tribe, to belong. And while I said “yes” wholeheartedly, I can’t help but think about the mother, the family, the life that discarded me, that I never knew and may never know. I wonder how many new sons and daughters they have welcomed into their tribe, and if they ever think about me.
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